Keeping up with this blog is a struggle for me. It’s obvious by my posting history that I’m not good with consistent updates. Really, the only person who suffers because of this is me. There’s a reason I’m not writing for TV right now, besides not knowing anyone in the industry and having the audacity to hit 30. I’m not writing for TV because I find it extremely hard to sit down and crank out spec scripts. Especially for shows I’m not into. And the shows I am into, I don’t feel worthy enough to spec them. Mad Men is too good to be spec’d, you know?
Maybe I should try writing about other things for this blog. “Generate content” or whatever some SEO/ad exec guy would recommend. Swear-y food musings will still be A Thing That Happens Here. TV reviews? Book reviews? Tales of Doing Exciting LA Things? Ugh. That last one means I’d have to leave my house and interact with other humans. As an introvert and full-time cynical jackass, I really hate doing that. There are people out there! PEOPLE!
I’ll think about it. On to the food!
Is there a more LA food than fish tacos? Maybe fish tacos out of a food truck if that food truck runs on expired suntan lotion and the slowly-decaying headshots of failed actors. I had made a Turkey Chili with fresh cilantro a few days earlier and had an entire clump of cilantro starting to wilt in my fridge. It’s still there, actually. I hate to waste food because that means I’m wasting money and I cannot stand wasting money. I could be buying things with that wilty cilantro money! Like gumballs or two stamps or a splinter of glass from a shattered iPhone screen! Since I can’t buy any of those things, I decided I needed to use the cilantro by making fish tacos with mango salsa.
Mango salsa is a bright addition to any summertime meal. I think. I’d never actually eaten it before. I’ve seen it used several times on shows like MasterChef. I’d love to go on MasterChef but I think their “person yelling fuck” slot is already filled by Gordon Ramsay. Instead of looking at a recipe for guidance, I decided to wing it, which is always an awesome idea when it comes to things you’ve never done before.
Dice a roma tomato, some red onion, some of that damn cilantro, and a mango. Did you know that mangos have weird freak pits in them? I didn’t. I don’t much care for the taste of mangos. They’ve got this aftertaste that clings to my tongue and it’s annoying as shit when anything clings to your body parts without your permission. Why I decided to use a mango in my cooking is a little mystifying. I’ve been going through some capital S Stuff lately, perhaps this mango impulse is part of it? What’s next, mushrooms? I fucking hate mushrooms.
Once everything is diced, mix together in a bowl and add lime juice. I really should have added some salt during this step. Cover and refrigerate.
A friend of mine suggested I use cod, flounder, or halibut in my dish as they come up most often when cross referencing “cilantro” “lime” and “fish” on The Goddamn Googles. I wanted to use halibut. The Regular People grocery store only had flounder. I should have gone to the Wealthy People store (Whole Foods) to find the fish I wanted, but I’m sure that would have cost as much as several shattered iPhone display shards! Do you think I’m rich? Who do I look like, Howard Hughes? Is that because I’ve cut off all contact with the outside world and ramble around in my apartment in a hospital gown while sporting freaky-long toenails? Fair enough.
Cut the fish into chunks. Season liberally with salt, pepper, cumin, and garlic powder. Add fresh cilantro.
I’ve taken to using lime or lemon juice instead of butter or oil when sautéing things. This is an attempt in trying to cut calories and “live healthy” or whatever the fuck thin people say when they cook.
Lime juice. Seasoned fish chunks. Cook until done. My fish disintegrated into a pile of fish flakes, much like cat food. Appetizing!
Warm some corn tortillas on a griddle pan. Put everything together and serve!
I also reheated some of the rice I made in this post to go with the tacos. (I froze the leftovers from that session. Good move, me!)
They had no taste. BLAH. (Cue Price is Right sad noise)
Very unimpressed with this dish. I might make it again, but I’d need to use a lot more seasoning. Or a sauce. FROWN. FROWNY FACE OF ULTIMATE SADNESS.