Review: Gilmore Girls – Season 1, Episode 14 “That Damn Donna Reed”

In this episode Floppy Hair walks face first into the landmine that is the gender wars. Rory and Lorelai get a lot of joy out of watching Donna Reed be the perfect 50s mother. By “joy” i mean “they have a lot of fun ripping that shit apart.” Floppy says, “Maybe we should bring back the 50s when women needed their husband’s permission to have their own bank account!” Lorelai and Rory look at him like this:

And so it begins.

At Luke’s, Lorelai suggests that he paint the diner. Shockingly, Luke hates to paint. Luke! Hating something! WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT (except all of us because seriously.) Lorelai LOVES to paint so she says she’ll help him. Since Luke wants to spend as much time with her as possible, he agrees.

Judgy WASP Mom is in this episode after having been surprisingly scarce. She and Spacy Grandpa are fighting because they didn’t get their “usual rental” on Martha’s Vineyard. Oh, my. How HARD it must be to be rich. Rory and Lorelai try to convince them to take a trip to Paris because Paris is awesome but Judy WASP Mom can’t quite wrap her head around going to Europe in the Spring. European traveling is OBVIOUSLY for the fall, everyone knows that!

Spacy Grandpa says it’s far too expensive, which is why they only go every two years. Lorelai drops the word “coach” and you’d think she suggested they hire mules and attempt to hike across the Atlantic.

Coach? WHY I NEVER! :Faints:

Babette comes over to ask if Rory can watch her house (and new kitten!) while she and her husband go to some town somewhere so he can play jazz (or stand in as Slender Man, whichever pays more.) Rory invites Floppy Hair over to “help” (read: have sex) and he accepts. And then he goes and fucks it all up by sarcastically talking about “oppressed housewives” like women haven’t historically been an oppressed group. When Rory calls him on it, he plays the “it was a joke” and “you’re so sensitive!” card that people use to completely discount valid points they don’t like. They get into an argument, which is ridiculous 16-year-old kids in the year 2000 would never fight over Donna Reed. It’s also very on point because Donna Reed really did represent millions of women who had to do housework in high heels and look perfect while doing it.

Rory housesits and Lorelai picks out paint swatches with Luke. They’re alone in the diner, he’s telling her how much the place meant to his dad while they’re drinking beers and smiling at each other. KISS. DO IT! KISS!!!!!

They don’t kiss because the entire town of Stars Hollow shows up to cockblock the fuck out of them. I hate you all.

Once Lorelai arrives home, she discovers Rory’s midterm, a baby chick named Stella, is missing. Lorelai immediately calls Luke to come help her look for it. He comes over, but he thinks he’s coming over for something else (SEX). Nope. Real chick, loose in the house.

At the same time, Floppy goes to visit Rory at Babette’s and he discovers Rory dressed like something out a 50s acid flashback (she’s even wearing a bump it!)

Sarah Palin’s “must have” fashion accessory!

Rory has dubbed the night “Donna Reed Night” and she’s made dinner that isn’t pizza or spray cheese or Red Vines. (They really do eat like crap on this show.) She’s even got “Johnny Angel” playing faintly in the background as they eat.

Fun fact about me – until I was about 12, I listened exclusively to the oldies radio station. And Michael Jackson.

Floppy Hair tells her that as fun as all this was, he likes Rory. Rory says she understands and she’s extremely happy because this whole thing allowed her to do her favorite thing – RESEARCH. Donna Reed may have played a housewife on TV, but in real life she was HBiC. She was an uncredited (of course) producer and director on her own TV show.

Floppy takes out the trash and almost collides with Luke, who is also taking out the trash. Rory and Lorelai comes outside and Lorelai asks what we’re all thinking, “what the hell are you two doing?” And then she proceeds to make fun of Rory’s outfit. AS SHE SHOULD.

The next day at the inn, Lorelai mentions the “Luke was surprised there was an actual chick in my house” thing to Sookie. Sookie is all, “He thought you wanted to fuck.” Lorelai is all, “NO! What? Fucking? Me?” and Sookie just rolls her eyes.

Later, when Judgy WASP Mom realizes Lorelai is telling yet another story about Luke, she asks Lorelai point-blank if she has feelings for Luke. She says:

Oh – this guy is also floating through the episode? He’s a hipster out of time! Someone get him to the fixie bike Delorian before his ethically-harvested lentils disappear forever!

Screen shot 2015-03-15 at 9.42.56 PM

Luke and Lorelai set up a painting date for Friday. And just as everything seems to be falling into place on that front, who rides into town on his motorcycle but Christopher, Rory’s father.

This won’t end well.

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