We pick up right where we left off – Rory home from her date with Floppy. She doesn’t want to tell Lorelai why they broke up. She starts throwing away all the things that remind her of Floppy – considering he would routinely knock on her window and he’s come over for movie night, I’m guessing this episode is the one where Rory burns the house to the ground?
Rory wakes Lorelai up at 6 a.m. on Saturday to do a bunch of fun “stuff.” She’s rearranged all the furniture in the living room is making a list of all the things they need to do. Lorelai wants her to wallow and “eat gallons of ice cream and pizza” and watch bad movies. She acts like this is something that they don’t already do every episode of this show. I think “wallowing” for the Gilmores would entail eating a whole salad that they made from scratch while sitting in the sunshine.
After cutting through a back alley (Rory can’t walk anywhere Floppy may be – which is just fucking stupid) they get to Luke’s. It’s busy. And who should be helping him out but Rachel, clad in one of his flannel shirts. We all know what happened there. Well, even though Luke and Lorelai are destined to be together, I cannot fault the man for getting it. He’s single, there’s no reason he shouldn’t enjoy some nice consensual sex with another adult. Go for it, Luke. Even though Rachel is terrible.
As Rory and Lorelai are waiting for the chocolate chip pancakes Luke is making special for Rory (SIGH), everyone in town is “expressing their condolences” to Rory. Fuck, people! WHY CAN’T YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH LIKE NORMAL HUMANS???
(Side note – the manager of the grocery store – Kirk, I think? – calls Floppy a “floppy-haired jerk.” EL OH EL. See? Everyone agrees with me that his hair is just too floppy, even for the year 2000.)
Luke sees Floppy heading toward the diner and runs out to divert him. They get into a “scuffle” of sorts on the street because Floppy thinks he can enter a diner he was just specifically told not to enter…by the owner of said establishment. Luke doesn’t like Floppy, and he sure as shit doesn’t like that Floppy broke up with Rory, so he just wants to beat the kid senseless. I’m torn on this – it’s a ridiculous display of PUFF OUT YOUR CHEST AND PROTECT THINGS masculinity (no need to default to fists, guys)…yet it’s so sweet that Luke cares so much for Rory.
Rory is trying her best not to wallow, but she can’t because the whole town is like every aunt you’ve ever had who cannot keep from asking you prying questions at Thanksgiving when all you want to do is put your headphones on and eat pie. To get away from the FreakTown, Rory decides to take Lane and go to a Chilton party at one of the Concert Girls house (the brunette one. I can’t remember her name but she has THE WORST hair.)
After the girls leave, Lorelai goes to Sookie’s house to ask to borrow her car. (Melissa McCarthy has great hair in the this scene.) Tug Boat is making dinner and Sookie is cooking and no one cares.
Lorelai, who is stupid, drives to Discount Braff’s house and blabs at him about “not being over him.”
The she goes into his apartment. Bitch, no. You never show up on some dude’s doorstep telling him you miss him! You go to the sex shop and buy a nice dildo, go home, draw yourself a bath, read some smut, and “spend time” with yourself. At least you’ll get off.
At Bad Hair’s party, Lane meets Paris. It goes as well as one can expect. While they’re getting something to drink, they witness Spiky and his girlfriend have a fight. A cute boy comes to ask Lane to dance and at first Lane is all “oh no, he’s Korean, which means he’s like all the boring guys my mom sets me up with!” but he’s super cute so she dances with him. Paris – poor unloved Paris – gets pissy because no one is dancing with her. Paris, a word of advice from a girl who has been there – Don’t. Just don’t. It’s not a good look. Trust me.
Lorelai has sex with Discount Braff, Lane really likes the guy who asked her to dance, and Rory watches Spiky’s girlfriend break up with him. Lane runs off to dance with Henry again and Rory ends up talking to Spiky. I feel bad for him, too, but he blows ass and she should just walk away. He “apologizes” for being an asshole, but I don’t believe him. I hope Rory doesn’t either. But, of course, they kiss because Rory is as dumb as her dumb mother. Rory freaks out (AS SHE SHOULD), runs home, and finally “wallows” by eating ice cream and pizza. So doing exactly what they always do just with tears.
UGH. I am not happy with either one of them. Terrible man choices all the way around, girls. I’m turning into Judgy WASP Mom over here. But I’m JUSTIFIED in my anger, damn it!