Time for Judgy WASP Mom to go antiquing in Stars Hollow! I hope she buys Miss Patty’s discarded drums and dances nude atop them for Spacey Grandpa.
There are no baby pictures of Lorelai because she had an abnormally large head as a baby. She was unsightly, which was probably the one and only time anyone will ever write that about Lorelai Gilmore.
Rumor has it that she looked like this:
While awaiting Judgy WASP Mom’s arrival in town, Rachel, oh she of the curly hair, is all “I took a picture of a conveniently abandoned inn on that sits on outskirts of town. Let’s go check it out and I’ll tell you all about how good Luke is in bed. Also, Lorelai, don’t you want to own an inn one day?”
At the Inn that doesn’t attract ghost hunters, Short Annoying Cousin guy is there. Remember the guy that thought Lorelai was hideous because she is tall? That guy. Tug Boat and Sookie have decided that Lorelai is just going to give this jerk a job? It’s the American way – have family members beg friends to give your shiftless relations jobs (even though they don’t have the skills for said job.) This is how every person you know who works at their dad’s/uncle’s/grandpa’s hedge fund got their job.
After arriving in Stars Hollow, a terrible thing happens to Judgy WASP Mom – she has to wear TENNIS SHOES. I would laugh and point and call her vain except – I myself HATE tennis shoes. I will not wear them unless I am going to the gym or going to do something outdoorsy. So basically I never wear them because I don’t do either of those things with any regularity. But seriously – tennis shoes are fucking ugly.
Rory and WASP Mom tromp around Stars Hollow and WASP Mom discovers that she actually likes the place. She even likes Mrs. Kim, and everyone is scared Mrs. Kim. It’s probably because game recognizes game. Even bitter ass rude as fuck Michele LIKES her.
(Side note – Lane pretends this is the first time she meets Judgy WASP Mom but she actually met her at Rory’s 16th (again) birthday party when Lane saved Rory from lighting her boa on fire in an unscripted production error.)
Everything is going well until Rory shows her the maintenance shack that served as Rory and Lorelai’s home when Rory was first born. Judgy WASP Mom acts as if she just watched the X-Files episode “Home” for the first time.
Speaking of homes (I CAN’T HELP MYSELF), Lorelai visits Curly Hair in Luke’s apartment. It looks like he lives in an apartment straight out of the worst parts of Dick Whitman’s upbringing. Luke is sufficiently freaked out by having Lorelai in his apartment and he scampers off into the storage area to stock pickles (badly, BTW. He puts three jars on one shelf and then three on another. Then he lets Lorelai put more pickles on the same shelf as the mustard. Dude, I realize this is TV but didn’t you two ever work in a restaurant or in retail before hitting it big?)
Lorelai and Luke unpack pickles and they talk about Rachel. Rachel is boring and is nothing but a hurdle in the way of the inevitible Luke/Lorelai sexcapade. But, to her credit – I like her more than C-Money.
At Friday night dinner, Judgy WASP Mom unveils Rory’s new room. Amongst the NSYNC posters, Judgy WASP Mom starts yelling at Lorelai for living in a toolshed 16 years ago. Good argument to have. It’s something that can be changed and its constructive to fight about it.
During the typical coffee run, Rachel thanks Lorelai for talking to Luke. Aren’t we all so happy that the Plot Device is happy? (No, no we are not.)
…Was it me or did nothing really happen in this episode?