We begin this episode with yet another trip to the diner and Lorelai wearing pink. frosted. lipstick. BUBBLE GUM PINK FROSTED LIPSTICK that matches her shirt.
If there is one thing I have learned from writing these reviews, it’s that there is always an appropriate Bianca Del Rio reaction gif.
It seems that this cold open is the one where Lorelai remembers that she likes Luke. “Did you notice he never flirts with anyone?” “Do you think he’s dated anyone since Plot Device?” “Why am I wearing lipstick that is the same color as the walls of Barbie’s Dream House?”
The girls then get into an argument about who has the worst “guilty pleasure” music. They don’t call it guilty pleasure, but we all know because we all have it. They mention Duran Duran (HEY! I’ve seen them live, thanks!) and Spice Girls and Dido. I used to be ashamed of my guilty pleasure. No more. I will stand before god and country and admit that I fucking love Meatloaf. Yeah, you read that right. MEATLOAF. Crazy epic rock operatics are my jam.
Also, there’s this:
I rest my case.
At school, Rory is ready to enjoy a relaxing lunch of book + Discman tunes. Oh, Discman. How many amazing times did we have before you were rendered obsolete by the iPod?
Rory’s lunch is interrupted by the guidance counselor insisting that they need to speak. Since Paris was in the credit sequence and I swear I saw her entering the lunch room through the same door the counselor just came through, I’m going to guess this has something to do with her?
In the counselor’s office, Rory is told that she’s too much of an introvert to get a decent recommendation to a good school.
I hate this crap. Rory isn’t rude to anyone. She’s not causing problems. She’s killing her studies and participating in class and she’s nice when spoken to and THAT SHOULD BE ENOUGH. Some of us are introverts. We’re happy to read a book and listen to music or just be alone. It’s just how we are. AND IT’S OK. We really need to kill this ridiculous idea that “super social butterfly” automatically equals “better candidate for a job/promotion/scholarship.” We also need to kill the idea that people who need to take an hour to themselves during a busy day are in some way broken or weird.
Rory is now supposed to “mix it up” and try to be friendly with kids she has no interest in being friendly with. Wow. Great counseling. Lorelai is appropriately angry about this and marches her (properly attired!) ass into the head master’s office. Of course she’s given the same “being introverted is somehow wrong” speech that the counselor gave to Rory. She’s handed a packet of “parent activities” she supposed to participate in. Holy fuck I am so glad I’m not a parent. I’m not a joiner and I would not take kindly to being told I need to “participate.” But because this is a TV show and we have like 30 minutes left, Lorelai is guilted into participating.
Lorelai is an optimist at heart and she tells Rory that maybe they should just go along to get along and get Rory into Harvard. Rory agrees and Operation Participate begins.
Rory sits with some girls at lunch. Paris takes note of this development. Now that I know what the counselor wanted, I’m changing my prediction to guess that Paris has also been given the “STOP BEING WEIRD!!!” lecture. Good luck with that, Paris.
After lunch Paris practically tackles Rory in the hallway. She’s all, “HOW DID YOU GET THE PUFFS – A HIGH SCHOOL SORORITY – TO TALK TO YOU AND WE’RE NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT HOW DUMB THEIR NAME IS BUT WHY DID YOU TELL THEM THAT YOU HATED ME WHEN YOU DIDN’T TELL THEM THAT AT ALL!!!!!!” Rory is all, “…have you ever thought about getting on an antidepressant?”
Lorelai joins the Booster’s Club and shows up to a meeting wearing a sequined top while everyone else is wearing something from the J. Crew Utter Boredom collection. The Ladies Who Lunch have decided to have a fashion show to raise money for the school and Lorelai offers up the Inn and Sookie. At least Sookie will get paid this time, unlike the Luke/Broody dinner.
Oh, one more catch – the moms are the models. The moms. Not girls from the school who would LOVE to do it or wannabe models from New York (which is not that far away by train!) The moms. ‘kay.
When Lorelai tells Rory about the model thing she cracks a Leonardo DiCaprio joke that would be right at home on a TV show filmed today. Or in 5 years. I guess the more things change…
Lorelai says “fuck modeling” and makes her mother do it.
The next day Rory is asked to sit with the Puffs who say they are not a group but they are totally a group and who told you that they are a group????? Rory, kind, kind soul that she is, gets Paris an invite to the table. Paris looks like she could kiss Rory (Paris/Rory is a much better pairing than Rory/Any of the Current Age-Appropriate Dudes on this show.)
It’s the day of the fashion show and Lorelai calls Luke to come to the Inn and bring her his skilled hands and his big tool(s). Luke is fixing things and being rugged and slinging around his huge, thick, tool
box when Ava, one of the boosters, walks in. She practically needs to be carried to the dressing room because she wants Luke. And she wants him BAD.
As much as I want Luke + Lorelai = SEXING, these two are fucking hopeless and are going to pull a “will they won’t they” for several seasons because that’s what happens on TV shows. So, Luke – Lorelai is too dumb to realize she likes you because the writers need her to be clueless to her own desires for right now, so go climb Ava like a tree.
When the fashion show starts they play “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” and my eyes almost get stuck in my head from rolling them so hard. Too on the nose, guys. 99% of the clothes for the “Fall Fashion Extravaganza” are straight from the Emily Gilmore collection. And she looks lovely in her lipstick red suit jacket, Lorelai seething beside her as the second part of the Mother-Daughter Duo. Lorelai warms up and actually has fun and the girls dance down the catwalk. It’s a good scene because it’s great to see Lorelai and Judgy WASP Mom actually have fun together. And it’s a great scene because you can see Kelly Bishop’s Broadway chops just in the way she moves and strikes that pose at the end. The woman has a Tony award for fuck’s sake. I give her character a lot of shit in these reviews but I actually adore her. She’s a fantastic actress.
After the show, Jugdy WASP Mom tells Lorelai that she did a great job and is fitting in well. Lorelai then sees Luke talking to Ava, who for some reason was the only woman in the fashion show who didn’t have to wear something from the Hillary Clinton collection.
Rory is “kidnapped” by her Puff friends. Lorelai has given her fair warning so she looks cute and adorable in her matching pjs. Paris is like me so she looks like this:
The girls aren’t going out to breakfast like they told Lorelai. The break into the head master’s office and are busted. Rory tells the head master that this is all his fault. And she’s right. If he wasn’t threatening her with poor recommendations just because she prefers the company of books over people, none of this bullshit would have happened.
Later that morning Lorelai thinks she can tell Luke not to date Ava. Not because she’s Ava, because she’s a Chilton mom. It was ok for Lorelai to date a Chilton teacher, her daughter’s actual teacher, the teacher who is in charge of Rory’s grades, but Luke? Oh no. Can’t have THAT. He might serve Rory Chilton Mom coffee that will interfere with her GPA!
Luke tells Lorelai to pound sand. Hey Lorelai –
Later, Rory doesn’t sit with the Puffs. She’s happy with her lunch and her book and her tunes. One of the other girls who was about to be initiated into the Puffs comes over and asks to sit with her. She opens up her own book and she and Rory enjoy introverted togetherness, which is the best kind of togetherness (for introverts.)