We open this episode with the girls hanging out at Weston’s, a place they like now that they no longer have to look the old lady they stole from in the eye (see: Lorelai and Rory eating all the cake samples without having any intention of buying a cake.)
Lane enters with the brochures to her
reeducation camp college and she’s wearing an amazing cardigan with a rooster on it:
Rooster sweater for president.
The next morning, Rory is freaking out over all the things she needs to do before she graduates. As she’s making lists and reading 9 books at once or whatever it is that smart people do, Luke appears at the back door and wants to play charades with Lorelai. She goes outside to play and Luke tells her that Broody is gone.
He’s got a speech about how he’s so over it and it doesn’t matter, but then he gets all sad and says that he failed Broody. No, Luke. You didn’t fail Broody. Broody failed Broody by not realizing that his uncle loves him very, very much.
Rory still doesn’t know Broody is gone.
Broody gets off the bus in Venice, CA and he walks down the street I walked down yesterday. Seriously, I was right there yesterday afternoon – my husband and I have been on vacation this past week and instead of spending a shit ton of money on a hotel somewhere, we had a “staycation” (which is a word that should die in a fire.) We went to Venice Beach yesterday for lunch and we ate at the restaurant in the building with the red pillars right behind Broody in this shot:
Two things about this scene – Venice Beach is gross and overcrowded, and there’s no way that guy would offer to help someone who is obviously a tourist. Everyone down there has a hustle – don’t ever take CDs from the guys handing them out because they will expect you to pay for them. There will be overly friendly people walking around trying to get you to go to their restaurant/club/bar/whatever. Maybe just don’t go to Venice if you come to visit – there are better beaches that aren’t obnoxiously crowded and clogged with T-shirt stands and head shops. Unless you’re into T-shirt stands and head shops.
The next scene has Broody standing on the beach at what is obviously “the golden hour” – that moment in time filmmakers love because it makes the light look fantastic. The previous scene was filmed in broad daylight, so we can only assume it took Broody 5 hours to walk from the boardwalk to the beach. This may not have been filmed right off where Broody was last scene – there are a number of rocks right off the shore, which you can kind of see in the Instagram picture I took yesterday (right hand side):
Back in Stars Hollow, Lorelai receives a letter denying Rory financial aid at Yale. She calls the financial aid office and actually uses the line “Rory is the most deserving kid there is.” Hold up, Princess. Rory is great, but MOST deserving? I’m sure there are plenty of brilliant kids who didn’t have a safe place to live and food to eat who would like to have a word with you.
The problem is the $75,000 that Lorelai received from her dad. That would pay for maybe one and a half years at Yale. Then what?
And now we’re back in California with Broody? There are dogs and a weird hippy lady standing on a roof and something about the Wizard of Oz. When Broody says “I’m Not Italian Dad’s son!” the weird hippy lady is like, “…what? You look nothing alike. Casting is dumb.”
Then we spend time in this woman’s house while Broody manages not to be a total dick to her. Hey look! He CAN talk to people who aren’t Rory without being an asshole! Broody isn’t impressed by her home until he finds the “MY DAD IS TOTES COOL” record room/library. Of course. This is the room where Not Italian Dad and Hippy Lady have locked up this universe’s Harry Potter – instead of keeping him under the stairs they keep her in a cupboard.
We jump back to Chilton but I’m so damn confused as to why we’re spending this much time with the California people that I break my own rule and listen to the Gilmore Guys podcast before finishing my review. It’s worse than I thought – This is a BACKDOOR PILOT for a spinoff show starring Broody and his dumb dad. (Apparently they wanted to spinoff Luke, but, why?) Backdoor pilots are almost always terrible (Remember that time Dwight from The Office had a farm?) Some of them work – Empty Nest became a thing because it was spun off The Golden Girls. The “bad boy in a beach town” concept wasn’t a bad one, it just didn’t work here. According to IMDB, this episode premiered on May 13, 2003. The OC premiered on August 5, 2003. We know how that went.
According to this article, the network pulled the plug on the Broody Show because the creators wanted to film it completely on location at Venice Beach. Gilmore Girls was filmed on the backlot at Warner Bros., keeping the production costs down. Also – why blow that money on an untested show when Gilmore Girls was doing so well? Give them the increased budget and work on writing some new shit for Broody in-series instead? Or get rid of him forever? I’m good with either.
Back at Chilton, Rory gets a phone call from Judgy WASP Mom – she wants Rory to help her pick out an outfit to wear to her graduation. She calls Lorelai from across the room and immediately proves why texting is the best thing that has ever happened to us as a species. Then Paris yells at Lorelai and we all laugh and smile because Paris is a treasure.
Back in Venice, the show tries to set up a “community” of Star Hollow-like characters by having Hippy Lady talk to everyone while telling Broody how she met his dad. Callin’ nope on that. There’s no way she knows that many people (or that the guy working the merry-go-round has a regular enough schedule/is paid well enough for her to see him every day and become his friend.) LA is a city of transplants – people move here every single day from all over. People move from different parts of the city every single day just to be closer to a job (when your commute is 17 miles and takes 90 minutes one-way, you move.) I’ve lived in my current place for several years and I think I’ve seen the same barista at my local Starbucks twice.
Broody goes to talk to his dad (who ALSO owns a diner-like business) but it’s located within spitting distance of the Santa Monica Pier? Which is like 2 miles from Venice Beach? Nice walk, I guess.
Broody also wears his leather jacket in the sun and somehow he doesn’t die of heat stroke.
Rory shows up at Judgy WASP Mom’s place and she is looking amazing in a pretty evening gown. The only thing I don’t like about the dress is it has dots on the boobs, making it a nipple dress. Pure class. She’s being dressed by fashion consultant Miss Selene, who is Lois Borstein in a wig.
At Chilton, no one is buying grad night cruise tickets so Lorelai talks to Paris about boobs and then they hug. There may have also been some college talk in there, too, but who can keep track?
In California, Not Italian Dad almost frees Harriet Potter from her cupboard prison, but he promises her a sacrifice of cheese and pineapples in exchange for his soul.
Hippy Lady is angry because Broody exists. Not Italian Dad lied to her about going to see Broody. Oh, good! Dishonesty runs in the Mariano family! When she asks if Broody is staying the night or how long he’s staying (you know, questions you usual ask a visitor) Not Italian Dad is all, “…uh….?”Hippy Lady is all, “I CAN’T DEAL WITH THIS RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DAUGHTER IS GOING TO TURN INTO A DEMENTOR/WEREWOLF UPON THE RISE OF THE FULL MOON. IF I DO NOT FIND HER AN OFFERING OF THREE SOULS BY NIGHTFALL,SHE’LL KILL US ALL AND WRECK THE HOUSE! THAT’LL REALLY PISS ME OFF BECAUSE I JUST PAINTED THE FENCE!” So she takes her demon daughter to go find
victims a pizza.
Lorelai shows up to Judgy WASP Mom’s house and Judgy WASP Mom refuses to eat dinner because she doesn’t want to have to offer Lorelai any food. Judgy WASP Mom says no, they just have plans, and she gets caught in that lie pretty quickly. Spacey Grandpa is like my cat and his clock is in his stomach.
I love Pusheen.
Lorelai storms out and is relieved because now she doesn’t have to feel bad for not talking to her parents. Rory tells Judgy WASP Mom that she’s being dumb and then they girls go to Souplantation, which means they drove to North Carolina because that’s the nearest Souplantation to Connecticut. Souplantation is amazing, though. So delicious….so much salad…and soup..and breads! OMG, did I mention the BREAD? Mmmmmm….
They see Luke outside the diner and when he sees them, he runs. Then Lorelai has to tell Rory that Broody went away. She’s sad. I’m not.
In California, Broody and Not Italian Dad yell at each other. Broody wants to stay in Venice but Not Italian Dad is all, “No because that means I’d have to be a dad and responsibility scares me.” Luke wanted to be a father figure for you, Broody. And you treated him like shit.
Broody finally has his “oh shit” moment and yells something about how he’s totally fucked up his life and all the chances Luke gave him and now he’s stuck in LA like the rest of the people who end up in LA when they’ve screwed up everywhere else (read: me.) Not Italian Dad promises to ask Hippy Lady if Broody can stay. He doesn’t warn him about Harriet Potter.
At home, Lorelai reads Rory’s yearbook and finds out she’s been nominated valedictorian. Good for her but…doesn’t it make more sense to have Paris be valedictorian?