Rory’s moving into her dorm room today and everything would be going smoothly IF…Lorelai knew how to drive a stick. Oops.
I have nothing snarky for this. I drove stick for YEARS and I don’t anymore. I love driving stick (automatics can suck it). Damn. Now I’m sad. Here’s some Botox Cry Face to illustrate my sadness:
Next car I get is going to be a fucking manual transmission, LA traffic be damned.
Luke gives Lorelai a diagram of the stick but either his truck is a million years old or no one in the writing room had actually driven a stick manufactured in the last 40 years. Standard 5-speeds don’t have a “D” setting because they look like this:
Luke has to deal with Pretty Lawyer’s lawyers to get out of his “Shit, you aren’t Lorelai!” marriage and it’s not going well. This is a stupid plot line. Not as stupid as anything Discount Braff was ever involved in, but still stupid. It’s like I’m watching Luke and Lorelai decide to fuck in real-time. It’s not as exciting as it sounds.
The girls arrive at Yale and move into the largest dorm room I’ve ever seen. What happened to being 3 feet from your roommate at all times? There are sticky notes on the doors indicating which room belongs to whom. Rory’s says “RG” and “PG”. GEE, I WONDER WHO PG IS. (No I don’t – It’s Paris.)
Rory has to pick up her ID and her internet ID. The girl (an RA?) says “Get an internet ID whether you think you’ll use it or not.” LOL LOL LOL LOL. That’s adorable.
One of Rory’s new suite-mates is a 16-year-old named Curly and she has no social graces whatsoever because she’s 16 and has only ever had books as friends. It’s cool, we’ve all be there. Throw a few “fucks” in the facts you memorized and no one will be able to tell that you’re weird. It’s worked for me. (?)
Just as Lorelai is about to leave she realizes that Rory doesn’t have a bunch of shit that she’ll probably need. She’s off to worship at the alter of capitalism while Rory is left to unpack. But she doesn’t go buy anything, she goes back to Luke’s where he yells at a bunch of lawyers.
Back at Yale, Paris has arrived, surprising absolutely no one. Except she’s huggy and hanging out with some dude who is her life coach? Turns out the life coach felt that the Rory/Paris life journey wasn’t complete so her dad got them assigned as roommates. Money is fucking amazing.
When Lorelai & Luke arrive to drop off the new load, Paris is trying to be “new Paris” with on foot firmly planted in “old Paris” land. I love that she’s trying. I don’t think it’ll work, but maybe she’ll mellow?
Lorelai & Rory hug goodbye. Rory wanders back into her dorm to sit and contemplate Life Without Lorelai and it’s bittersweet – I remember moving into my dorm my freshman year. It was great to be away from my parents but it was also sad and scary. But Lorelai barely gets back to Stars Hollow before Rory pages her and begs her to come back.
Rory’s having a fucking breakdown but it’s a weird breakdown because there’s no screaming or crying, just rapid talking and blocking. I don’t want to say that Alexis Bledel is a bad actress, but she doesn’t do a whole lot with this scene and it’s a wasted opportunity.
Lorelai ends up staying the night in the dorm room and orders takeout enough to feed the entire floor. Isn’t she unemployed at this point? That food had to cost at least $500. She also invites every girl in the dorm into the room for food, which is my literal idea of hell. Aren’t any of these people introverts who can’t handle too much human energy without having to retreat into a corner and focus on their breathing?
Just as they’re about to go to sleep they hear a bunch of morons howling. Lorelai then joins in because she is too outgoing for her own good. Then they both howl. Do you ever get embarassed for characters on TV or in movies? That’s what’s happening to me right now.
Lorelai goes back home and is confronted by the overwhelming loneliness of an empty house. Her whole life has been Rory – what is she going to do now (besides bring Luke over for house-wide fuckfests)? (I’d watch that.)
This was a hard episode to write about. Things happened but it wasn’t anything much. How much can you say about mattress drama or Rory/Lorelai being sad?