EPISODE 16! I am SO CLOSE to the end of this season! YAY! I hope Smarmy disappears and makes me as happy as the studio audience at the end of this clip:
I’m going to try and keep this short because The X-Files are coming on at 8.
In the cold open Rory is rocking what I initially thought was a 4-sided Lite Brite. It is a lamp shade.
Is it possible to own a 4-sided Lite Brite? If so, I would like to order one post haste.
Luke’s anger problems are on full display as he stomps around the diner and throws plates full of food in front of his customers. It’s really too bad no one in this god forsaken town has ever heard of anger management classes or therapy. If Tony Soprano can do therapy, so can Luke Danes.
His anger is extremely off-putting in this scene. We’re supposed to view it as a man processing his heartbreak, which is what it is, but it comes across instead as a man-child who can’t deal with his emotions and is lashing out at the innocent people around him. It’s not cute.
Judgy WASP Mom tries to call Lorelai but Lorelai won’t take her calls. Can’t imagine why! Sookie decides that Lorelai’s life of Netflix and takeout is “pathetic” so they need to go out. Netflix and takeout is the farthest thing from pathetic, thank you very much. They finally put season 2 of Young Justice on Netflix! Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for season 2 (even though there is no Batman/Catwoman in the show)?
Since Lorelai hates her mother Rory is stuck going to her grandparents for Friday Night Dinner all by herself. Judgy WASP Mom is acting like everything is normal, as if she didn’t hatch a horrible plan that successfully helped torpedo her daughter’s relationship. (This is not all Emily’s fault – Lorelai lying to Luke played a much larger role.) After an entire evening of Rory giving her the cold shoulder, Judgy WASP Mom has had enough. She demands to know why Rory is being a jerk, and then she has a gall to act surprised when she discovers that her granddaughter is upset over the way her grandmother treated her mother. What exactly did she expect would happen? High fives for making Lorelai cry? A “Thanks for getting rid of the guy who cried at my graduation because he was so proud of me for making valedictorian” chat over coffee? A card inscribed with “Thanks for making my parents relationship even worse than it was in the past!”?
Rory meets Lorelai and Sookie at Weston’s and decides to make everything fucking awkward by telling Lorelai about how she took Smarmy’s dick.
I am a married woman. My mother can probably deduce that I am not a virgin. But we never had a “hey mom, guess who I’m banging!” conversation. I think it’s ok for parents to bow out of that conversation as long as they’ve hit the biggies – This is how babies are made, this is what consent is and why it is important, this is what birth control is and why it’s important, and this is what to do if you feel unsafe. Come to me with questions, but please do not tell me about how you want to (or like to) take Smarmy’s dick. Thank you.
Spacey Grandpa calls to tell Lorelai to tell Rory to apologize to her grandmother. Lorelai basically tells him to fuck himself and then asks if he can write her a better insurance policy for the inn than what she’s got. Since Spacey Grandpa lives and breathes insurance, he is more than happy to pass Lorelai’s middle finger along to his wife before skipping out the door towards Insurance Land.
Meanwhile, Zach tries to get Lane to sleep with him and she tells him she has to wait until she’s married to have sex. Looks like that Christian upbringing stuck in more ways than one. Sorry, Lane. I hope you get married at a younger age than I did or you are in for some seriously long, lonely nights.
Smarmy has decided to cut his Spring Break short and return to Yale. Rory, doing that thing that all girls do when they’re young and stupid, decides to cut her break short so she can hang out with him. It’s ok, Rory. We’ve all been that dumb before.
Judgy WASP Mom appears at Luke’s diner, which is something I did not expect. Luke ignores her, which is really the only acceptable way to treat someone who blew up your life. Judgy WASP Mom tells him that Lorelai wants her and that he should go to her.
Lorelai is watching A Star Is Born starring Judy Garland. Poor Judy Garland. Her life was crazy. I highly recommend the podcast You Must Remember This that delves into the history of Hollywood’s first century. The lives those stars lived were crazy and horrific.
Luke knocks on the door, she answers, and he just grabs her and kisses her. Admittedly, it’s pretty fucking hot. And it’s hot because you know Lorelai wants that as much as he does. Good thing Rory went back to Yale early!