Oh, hey. I almost forgot there was an episode of Gotham this week because I watched the Supergirl/Flash crossover instead. (Verdict: Adorable. If I didn’t have to get a special app to watch Supergirl, I’d watch it every week. And I don’t even like Supergirl all that much.)
I was also distracted by the nightmare fodder known as Batman v. Superman. Rob Bricken, a.k.a. He Who Is Alway Right, calls the universe this movie is set in the Murderverse. He is 100% correct. (However, I will admit that Ben Affleck was a good Batman and he looks so perfect as Bruce Wayne that it makes me irrationally angry. I mean:)
Ugh. I don’t like finding Ben Affleck attractive. I kind of hate myself right now. (I kind of hate myself for finding him hot ever since Argo.)
I don’t have much to say about this episode of Gotham because not a whole hell of a lot happened. I’m glad they focused on two stories and kept them relatively contained, but nothing really happened in either story until the end.
Jimmy G is in prison. He is bored. He sleeps. He looks at Leslie’s picture. He sleeps. He does laundry. He sleeps. He jogs in jeans. He sleeps. One day, an Evil Warden who has never seen an episode of MSNBC’s Lockup and does not understand the rules of being placed in the Sensitive Needs yard, decides to transfer Jim into general population with all the people he arrested. What could possibly go wrong?
Jim immediately gets into a fight with some meathead with a hard on for revenge. Some idiot Red Shirt who is as naive as this universe’s Bruce Wayne is like, “I’ll help you, hero cop! Hey, fellow prisoners! I THINK THIS COP IS A HERO AND WANT TO BE HIS FRIEND!” He gets his face punched in and wins the Dumbest Person in Gotham Award for the week.
Harvey, who is The Best, decides that he needs to help Jim break out of prison because he thinks its unfair for Jim to be behind bars while the real killer is “out there eatin’ donuts and gettin’ laid.” Harvey, I love you. Never change. Keep being The Best.
Harvey pulls Falcone out his tomato garden or takes him away from feeding the ducks in his backyard before going to his therapy appointment. Apparently the mob boss who gave up the life still has pull with people and isn’t a target for turning his back on la famiglia.
Together, Harvey and Falcone convince the guy who wanted Jim dead to pretend to stab him with a fake shiv and pour fake blood all over him. Jim decides he should play dead and they throw him in a body bag without checking for a pulse. Jim is lucky that everyone in Gotham (including him) is terrible at their jobs.
Jim, a walking trash fire who destroys everything and everyone he comes in contact with (Leslie lost the baby! Barbara went crazy! Jim told Alfred about Batman v. Superman and Alfred decided a Batman who willingly guns down everyone he comes into contact with is exactly what he wants Bruce to become!) decides he needs to “rescue” his buddy Red Shirt and break him out of prison, too. Everyone drives to a bridge for a talk, and Jim decides he’s going to clear him name somehow even though he actually did kill Galavan but has decided that doesn’t matter? (MURDERVERSE!!) (Who wants to bet Hugo Strange unleashes a Galavan clone just as Jim decides he needs to tell police chief Ben Grimm that he killed Galavan?)
Jim is all, “Hey, Red Shirt! Aren’t you glad to be al- Oh, never mind, you’re dead. Eh. At least it’s not me?”
Penguin and his dopey dad (played perfectly by Paul Reubens) love each other very much but they have an evil step family to contend with. As is always the case with evil step families, this family wants all the money so they decide they have to either fuck Penguin to death or kill him (may not be the actual plan.) Fucking doesn’t work so they try to poison him and accidentally poison PeeWee Herman. He dies and no one knows where his money will go.
The only thing remarkable about this plot line is how much it feels like a horror story written by Edgar Allen Poe and later illustrated by Edward Gorey. The palpable feeling of Victorian angst is strong. I like it.
- Barbara woke up
- Leslie really did lose the baby
- I don’t think any cops died this episode?
- Don’t pay money to see Batman v. Superman (unless your name is Martha.) Catch it on a plane or something.