Time for Lorelai to Cool Girl all over this episode! “It’s totally ok to postpone the wedding I already paid for! It’s totally ok that you didn’t tell me about your secret child until I found out by accident! I’m a Cool Girl and I never get angry at my guy because being angry would be uncool, or, God forbid, CRAZY. And the last thing a woman should ever be is crazy!”
80% of the time if a man says his ex-girlfriend was crazy, it means she reacted negatively to something when he didn’t want her to.
Lorelai meets Sookie at the flower market. Sookie is dressed as Stevie Nicks’s less-eccentric cousin in this scene, and she immediately blames the wedding troubles on Lorelai.
Way to be a terrible friend, Sookie.
Instead of telling Luke that she’s going to wait on canceling the wedding until he’s had some time to process his feelings, Lorelai makes the unilateral decision not to cancel and not tell him about it. This will cause no problems.
Rory is talking to Smarmy again. The show is acting like they’re still broken up, but they’re right back to the same “we’re in love!” crap from before they “broke up.” There are no stakes going in to the dinner that has been designed for Smarmy to get Rory back so none of this matters.
Spacey Grandpa calls Lorelai to tell her that there’s been a clerical error with Rory’s tuition payment. He doesn’t know that C-Money is paying for Yale now because literally none of the characters on this show can talk to each other. It’s now up to Lorelai to break the news to her parents, and it goes about as well as one would think. They should be happy that C-Money is finally contributing to Rory’s education, but they’re pissed instead.
Look at that amazing screen cap. I’m going to transfer these to massive canvases and display them in some popup gallery in the back of a pho place. You’ll be able to say you knew me when after I’ve become the next Banksy. #SeriousArtist
Paris has become drunk with power during her tenure as editor of the Yale Daily News (where’s Doyle to talk her down?) so Rory can’t go on her date with Smarmy because she needs to take over after everyone at the paper quits in protest. Didn’t Rory have a job writing for that paper in Stanford? Is she still working there?
Meanwhile, Luke has decided that Lorelai shouldn’t get to know Poochie. It sounds cold, but Luke is just sparing Lorelai from spending time with a character no one else likes. Poor Poochie. It’s not her fault she’s a terrible plot device.
Lorelai goes to Taylor’s candy shop thing so she can creepily stare at Luke and Poochie while Babette and Miss Patty make her feel worse about not getting invited to meet the kid. Later, Luke thanks Lorelai for being the Cool Girl and not making a big deal about the kid thing! Good going, Lorelai! You’re completely allowing your fiancee to disregard your feelings so he doesn’t have to consider you or how you factor into his life at all! You’ve achieved Peak Cool Girl!
At the paper, Rory’s good work is overshadowed by her dumb boyfriend’s ability to drop the right last name at the right time. This prevents Rory from finally learning this very important lesson:
The girls go to Friday Night Dinner where neither one of the elder Gilmores are all that interested in interacting with them. Judgy WASP Mom is too busy painting outside and Spacey Grandpa is worried about ice.
Everyone sits down to dinner and they yell at each other. This scene is very weird because it’s not shot like the rest of the show – it’s wobbly, the camera swings from person to person, it’s just….not the Gilmore Girls.
They fight and yell and eventually everything is ok because everyone is drunk and making fun of a woman who’s husband cheats on her because she’s “fat.” The things that bring families together!!
Friday Night Dinners are back on!
This episode exists to reset the Gilmores relationship and the Rory/Smarmy relationship back to where it was before Rory decided to steal that boat. The air has been cleared, Rory’s back at Yale and with Smarmy, and Friday Night Dinners are once again a thing. I’m glad 12 episodes of plot can be undone with a drunken fight and the dropping of one rich guy’s last name.