Ok, kids. Let’s put this season to bed.
Smarmy is graduating from college. He’s wearing the same suit he wore to his sister’s rehearsal dinner, which is the ugliest shade of shit brown to ever be created. He’s a billionaire, shouldn’t he have a million really nice suits? Pausing to remember that for the first two (maybe three?) seasons of Batman: The Animated Series Bruce Wayne was clad in one of the most disgusting suits to ever grace a television screen – the infamous brown and yellow rumpled old man in the park suit:
It’s hard to tell but it’s actually double-breasted. I mean…gross. Thank god we graduated to this:
Admittedly, I liked the animation in Batman: The Animated Series over The New Batman Adventures (even though I count them as one show) but none of that matters. We’re here to talk about Smarmy’s shitty fashion choices, not Bruce Wayne’s.
What the hell is happening here? Why is Hitler’s bespectacled ghost playing a piano in the middle of Stars Hollow? Why are we wasting time with this when this is the last episode from Amy Sherman-Palladino/Daniel Palladino ever*?
*until the revival
The idea of a troubadour power vacuum in Stars Hollow is ludicrous, but I’ll give it a pass because it gives us Mary Lynn Rajskub as Lady Troubadour!
After graduation, Rory thinks that Smarmy’s family is only going to take him for drinks for 30 minutes, so she goes back to the apartment to wait. She waits so long that she has to leave for Friday Night Dinner and she gets stuck in the elevator with Poppa Smarmy. (Side note: Why don’t Lorelai or Rory take their very serious boyfriends to Friday Night Dinners?) Rory’s pissed at Poppa Smarmy, but she should have fucking known better – in no universe does grabbing a celebratory drink with one’s family take 30 minutes.
She confronts Poppa Smarmy in the elevator and she seriously thinks that the reason Smarmy is getting sent away is because Poppa Smarmy hates her. She thinks this is all about her. It’s embarrassing and immature, and she sounds like a whiny teenager when she confronts him. Poppa Smarmy is all, “You are a fucking child and my son needs to actually do something with his life.”
At Friday Night Dinner, Rory and Lorelai wear blue. So does C-Money, who was invited. Gee, I wonder why he would have been invited after Judgy WASP Mom learned that Lorelai’s wedding was cancelled…
Actually, I think I owe Judgy WASP Mom an apology. She invited some lady over to meet C-Money. It’s a set up! LOL LOL LOL.
Troubadour issues continue – we get this:
This troubadour stuff is just stupid, especially for a season finale episode. Can we go back to talking about Bruce Wayne’s suits? I always pictured him an Armani man…
Back at Friday Night Dinner, C-Money follows Lorelai to the bathroom to beg for her to get him out of his weird date. So Lorelai torpedos the whole thing at dinner by being Lorelai. On the way out of the house she runs into C-Money’s date. As luck would have it, she’s a therapist! A therapist who has no issues blurring personal and professional boundaries! (Or working for free?) After her session, Lorelai marches into Luke’s and demands that they elope. Luke is taken aback by the whole thing and they end up fighting in the street. Unfortunately for Lorelai, her reluctance to communicate with Luke at all during the season makes Luke feel like this has come out of nowhere. When he says that he needs to think about it, she tells him he can’t, which…you can’t force someone to marry you. He deserves a little time to think. Then Lorelai goes to C-Money’s place (doesn’t he still live in Boston?) They, of course, fuck. This is an example of what we like to call “poor life choices.”
Meanwhile, Rory throws a party for Smarmy and then he leaves for London. She cries. The end.
It’s hard to say a lot about this episode because nothing really happens in it until the very end. And it’s not like this wasn’t a long time coming for Luke & Lorelai. They’re terrible together right now and it’s a huge bummer to watch. I’m glad this season is over but I’m not very excited for season 7. Not just because I’ve heard bad things about it, but because the last several episodes have been such monumental disappointments that I don’t really care to find out what happens to anyone on this show (except Paris and Lane.)