Review: Gilmore Girls – Season 7, Episode 6 “Go Bulldogs!”

Today is not a good day for America. Today is also a depressingly common day for America. I am not equipped to provide any sort of analysis for why mass shootings continue unabated in this country. All I can say is that I stand in solidarity with all of those in the LGBT community for they are once again the target of violence based on backward attitudes.  I also stand in solidarity with the millions of peaceful Muslims across the planet who will once again be painted as a monolithic hate group by small-minded politicians and those who place fear and hatred above tolerance and understanding.

To try to lighten the mood, here’s a picture of a very fluffy cat:

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Let’s talk Gilmore Girls, shall we?

Lorelai gets out of going to her mother’s house by pretending to talk to the answering machine when it’s actually Judgy WASP Mom. Instead of Judgy WASP Mom rolling her eyes and calling Lorelai out on her bullshit, she actually thinks that Lorelai can’t hear her screaming into the phone while she jumps up and down like a woman in a formal aerobics class.

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Feeling the burn while looking ready for afternoon tea.

Lorelai is practicing her French and pretending she has never before visited any country outside of the United States. C-Money notices that Lorelai has been invited to Parents Weekend at Yale and he decides they should go. This doesn’t seem like something C-Money would give two shits about, what with all the scheduled events and caring about his child, but ok. Season 7, you are very strange.

Lorelai tells Rory they’re coming for the day but she’s so fucking annoying that I want to throw something at her. Maybe peanuts or wadded up straw wrappers. Nothing that would hurt her, just annoy her to the degree that she is annoying me in this scene.

Luke has Poochie business – he has to make her lunch,he has to worry about swim practice. It is all terribly boring and I could not care less. We learn that super athletic Luke, the man whose father was building a boat that would, presumably, go into the water at some point in time, cannot swim.

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Does anyone believe this? I sure as shit don’t.

I didn’t think anything could annoy me more than Lorelai’s “I’m really French” back story. Then I heard Poochie “laugh.” Wow. Just…wow.

Completely random side note – I wonder if they filmed these Yale scenes on the USC campus. They must have. USC is surprisingly brick and East Coast looking for a college smack dab in the middle of LA.

Second random side note – C-Money says that he and Lorelai are near the building that looks like the Polaroid camera. Harvard actually has a building that was specifically designed to look like an old Polaroid camera:

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It looks like this because the inventor of the Polaroid camera donated a shit ton of money to the school specifically dedicated to build an undergraduate science center. This is how you get a building named after you (or, in this dude’s case, designed to look like something you invented.) So while I believe the Elder Gilmores have good intentions donating money to Yale in Rory’s name, I don’t think they’re donating building-level money. (The Polaroid guy donated $12.5 million in 1968 to get this one. Adjust for inflation and…)

During his swim lesson, Luke’s instructor decides to be completely unprofessional and hit on him the entire time. Gross. You don’t hit on your students during class. It’s not ok.

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Meanwhile, all the parents know who Rory is. Again:

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There is no fucking way all the parents know who Rory is just because she’s editor of the paper. She does not have “fans” for editing a paper.

The other dads make C-Money feel shitty because they make him realize that his absenteeism made him miss out on all the important parts of Rory’s life. Good. The Elder Gilmores are also at parents weekend. Not grandparents weekend, which I’m sure they must have because any reason to shake down donors for money is a good one, but parents weekend. Needless to say Lorelai is perturbed.

They go to the astrophysics lecture to escape Judgy WASP Mom and Spacey Grandpa. Question: What is the purpose of lectures for parents? So they can say, “yes, an academic-looking fellow stood before us and fed our brains with information on a subject we believe is important. Therefore, based on this 50 minute experience, I can safely say that my child is receiving the education they both need and deserve. Based on this experience, I have complete faith that my child will land a job right out of school and never have to worry about un/under employment and meaningless desk jobs that shouldn’t need a college degree yet require one.”?

At the paper, Paris brags about how she’s putting minimal effort into the paper when she’s there.

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Paris has never put “minimal effort” into anything. Ever. And if she felt her effort was less than, she would go to Rory and tell her that she doesn’t deserve the front page because to put a “minimal effort” article on the front page of the Yale Daily News is to sully the good name of the institution itself.

Rory introduces her parents to everyone in the newsroom. Rory, no one cares about your parents. C-Money takes this opportunity to invite everyone in the newsroom to the super fancy restaurant for lunch. I’m sure a restaurant that nice can totally accommodate large groups without any sort of notice whatsoever (this is one of the many reasons C-Money is the literal worst.) At lunch, “big news” happens so everyone has to run out and be journalists! C-Money is sad.

In Stars Hollow, Lane is leading the saddest life because not only is she carrying Zach’s spawn, she’s tasked with babysitting Poochie while Luke goes on a date with Pushy Swim Instructor. So Lane can watch Poochie even though Proto Lorelai hasn’t met her and doesn’t know her at all? And let me guess, I bet Proto Lorelai has NO PROBLEM with Poochie’s dad dating her swim instructor and the possible fallout if it doesn’t work out? Ok, just making sure.

The date is a mess, but it’s not nearly as much of a mess as C-Money and Lorelai trying to Cool Parent it all over the Yale Daily News. C-Money feels bad because the kids drank at lunch, so he brings them coffee and donuts to “make up” for it. I am so embarrassed by this that I can barely make it through the rest of the episode. What is secondhand embarrassment called? The Germans must have a word for it. As punishment for this ridiculousness, Rory tells her grandparents that Lorelai and C-Money will have dinner with them.

I think I hate everyone on this show. Except Lane. And Miss Patty. Babette is ok. Everyone else? HATE.

 

 

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9 thoughts on “Review: Gilmore Girls – Season 7, Episode 6 “Go Bulldogs!”

  1. And I agree…starting to really become annoyed with this show, but committed to finishing. I’m watching because my aunt liked it and she recently passed away.

  2. I watched up to season 4 years back. Now trying to marathon to catch up for the reboot. At least hearing someone else’s honest opinion on the season 7 episodes is keeping me sane!

  3. Your summaries are the best! I can usually tell by the little description on Netflix if the episode is going to be boring. When it seems that way, I just read your summary and move on to the next episode. Not wasting 45 minutes of my life! lol

  4. I stopped watching towards the end of season 6 but i keep reading your summaries because they are hilarious, and also descriptive so i can basically picture the episodes in my head at this point… and i don’t have to hear the annoying “buh buh buhhh buh” and “la la la la” songs

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