MOAR REVIEWS! MOAR!
I’m 15 episodes away from the end of the currently existing Gilmore oeuvre. I even caught up to the Gilmore Guys podcast!
Lorelai, C-Money, and Gigi are on their way to Paris. The city, not to visit with the character. (LOL, I have JOKES!)
Rory is stepping down as editor of the paper. What? Why? There’s been no indication that Rory doesn’t want the position of editor of the paper or that she was thinking of stepping down. Nor does it make any sense that someone as driven as Rory would step down before the end of her senior year.
Apparently she’s stepping down because of the “bylaws” of the paper. Then there should be a vote taking place like there was when she got the job. Also, does it make sense to make an editor step down before the end of the semester if they have no performance issues? Or the school year?
This isn’t just a “stepping down” like Doyle did so he could focus on his “Life According to Doyle” column (it was the first draft of the first season of Empire), Rory doesn’t even work at the paper anymore. Rory, the girl who has done nothing but talk about becoming a journalist since season one, isn’t even writing one story a week for the Yale Daily News. She’s got nothing to do with her life now so she invites Jessica Jones and the other girl to go to Stars Hollow.
Lane gets the terrible news that she’s carrying twins. Zach doesn’t know the difference between conjoined twins and regular twins, which just serves Lane as another reminder of what a terrible choice it was to mate with someone with the intelligence of a ballpoint pen. She still hasn’t told Mrs. Kim that she’s pregnant, thinking that her mother would be mad at her if she knew. You’re married, Lane. Your mother won’t be mad at you for reproducing within the bonds of matrimony.
She’s definitely not mad. She thinks that Lane and Zach should move into her place before the babies come. I assume this is because she knows Zach is an idiot and she’s worried he’ll try to use the baby as a drum or something. She wants those babies to live! They won’t be moving into Mrs. Kim’s house, she’ll be moving into their grungy ass apartment.
In Paris, C-Money and Lorelai riff about how rude French people are. I’m happy someone is finally milking the perceived rudeness of the French for comedy. This is uncharted comedic territory! You are breaking ground, Gilmore Girls! Breaking. Ground.
They sleep through their dinner reservation and wake up around 4 a.m., which they insist on referring to as “late at night.” No. This is early morning. Instead of washing up, getting ready, and hitting an early breakfast spot, they decide to go find a place that’s open “late.” These two can’t even breakfast right.
At the diner, Kirk does the most creepy, disturbing thing I’ve ever seen him do – he stops Lane by touching her stomach:
I would have lost. My. Shit. I’m not a touchy feely person. There are only a handful of people who can touch me without me recoiling in abject horror. If Kirk, who would not be on that list, touched me without asking? OMG. NO. NO.
This is really upsetting.
But not nearly as upsetting as C-Money’s gross moaning at the top of the next scene. Oh god. This show has taken a turn in Vomit Town and I do not want to be onboard.
Home highlights? Girls, no. You know better.
The girls Manic Panic their hair and then Rory has an unconvincing cry because she doesn’t know what to do now that college is almost over and she (for some unknown reason) can no longer work for the paper. Rory says “maybe I should be applying to grad schools.” NO, RORY. DON’T DO IT. TAKE IT FROM SOMEONE WHO KNOWS. IT IS NOT WORTH IT. (She would probably be ok because she has money, but still. NOOOOOOOOO.)
Oh, and Jessica Jones is dating Marty. Good. I’m glad he moved on and met someone else. He pretends like he doesn’t know Rory, I’m sure there’s a story there that we’ll hear later.
C-Money somehow gets some restaurant to open for them at an unknown hour. They specifically said it was 4 a.m. in the earlier scene. So unless they took a 5 minute walk around Paris and then had 5 second sex, there is no reason that it should still be dark out when they go to this restaurant. Lorelai even says it’s 5 a.m.! There should be some dawn at this point, right? C-Money’s plan to get them into this restaurant involved somehow tracking down the owner/manager, calling him at 4:30 a.m., and promising him a shit ton of money if he could get everyone else out of bed to work the restaurant for him. Including the chef, who apparently needs absolutely no prep time to throw together two meals. This is supposed to be romantic and sweet, but I can’t figure out why they couldn’t find an early morning cafe serving breakfast? (Also, isn’t it totally awesome that both Rory and Lorelai have loaded boyfriends who make all these scenes possible?)
C-Money mentions that he and Lorelai have been dating for 25 years. Rory is 21. Lorelai was 16 when she had her. So they’ve been “dating” since they were…12? 13? Dude. That’s ridiculous.
Lorelai allows herself to be bullied into marrying C-Money even though she wants to wait and wants their daughter to attend the wedding. She doesn’t seem happy about it.