It’s November 23 of what is quite possibly the worst year of the last 4 decades. (Fuck yourself, 2016.) We’re living in a nightmare/Black Mirror episode/the Upside Down.
But on the bright side, Gilmore Girls is coming back this week!
I wanted to give my thoughts/expectations/hopes for the new episodes before I watch them. Please note that I have not read any articles on the revival or watched any of the trailers. I’m trying to go in as blind as possible. I did see those advertisements where Rory can’t hold regular objects because she, like, forgot how or something? Dating Smarmy(Logan) broke all sense of how to be a normal human being?
Things I assume have happened during the break:
(meaning things I know won’t happen)
- Luke is serving a life sentence for beating Kirk to death over a slice of pecan pie
- Paris and Doyle are married but they’re poly and cannot stop telling everyone how enlightened they are for overcoming monogamy and really sticking it to the patriarchy
- Richard is dead but he didn’t die of natural causes. Emily accidentally killed him when she threw a vase at a maid and hit him instead. Now she’s assumed a new identity and is on the run through Central America.
- April has not aged a day and no one mentions it
- Miss Patty and Babette have an off-off-off-off Broadway revue where they sing show tunes and Miss Patty regales the audience with tales of all the men she fucked during her Broadway days. It’s bigger than Hamilton.
- Lorelai has been engaged about 96 times since the end of season 7.
Category is: HOPES
- I hope to all that is holy that Rory is not dating any boyfriend we met on the show. I can’t think of anything more unsatisfying than having her partnered up with some guy she met when she was 17. I know everyone loves Broody(Jess), but they were just kids. That ship has sailed. TEAM NO ONE 5EVA
- There is nothing I want more than to see Lane has divorced Zach and is now rocking out in some band while having white-hot sex with some insatiable, sexy bass player. She needs to be having so much crazy sex that she barely shows up in the show. Having Lane get chained to some not that great dude and then have to give up her musical dreams because she got pregnant during her first (terrible!) time…it was so sad and tragic. #JusticeForLane
- Luke and Lorelai together. I guess. Their relationship became such an afterthought during season 7 that I almost don’t care about what happens with them.
- A lot of Emily and Lorelai. I want to see how their relationship has progressed and how they’re dealing with Richard’s death.
The Final Four Words
According to an old interview with Amy Sherman-Palladino, she had the show planned out right down to the final four words. But since she left at the end of season 6, she wasn’t able to carry out her vision the way she intended. I listen to the Gilmore Guys podcast and they’ve spent a lot of time speculating about what those final four words could be. After listening to their last podcast (an over 5 hour podcast may I add!) I did some thinking. And I’ve decided that I hope the final four words aren’t the ones she originally planned. And here’s why.
This isn’t the same show anymore. Too much time has passed between the end of the show and the beginning of this revival. The characters are older, there were a lot of life-changing events in season 7 (like Lorelai and C-Money (Chris) getting married), our cultural landscape has changed, and Richard is dead. To try to shoehorn these words in, unless it’s something inconsequential like “Cinnamon pancakes?” “And coffee!” I worry that this will be a case of trying to bolt an ending onto a different version of the show than the one we have now.
Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe the words she’s been planning on are perfect. But I’m getting a “kill your babies” feel from this. (Kill your babies is a screenwriting phrase that means if you write something that you love and it’s not working, don’t be afraid to scrap those parts you love (your baby) to serve the story as a whole.)
Well that’s it for now. Happy Thanksgiving and Happy Revival!!