Not in a good place today, kids. There is a crack in the Arctic ice shelf that you could drive a fucking truck through, a greedy orange boil has appointed a climate change denier to head up the only agency in our government designed to protect the planet, and maybe Russia was responsible for some fuckery during our election.
Let’s ignore that ever-present feeling of helplessness and despair to talk about Gilmore Girls shall we?
Gilmore Girls be like:
SPOILERS TO FOLLOW (OBVIOUSLY!)
It’s November 23 of what is quite possibly the worst year of the last 4 decades. (Fuck yourself, 2016.) We’re living in a nightmare/Black Mirror episode/the Upside Down.
But on the bright side, Gilmore Girls is coming back this week!
I’m not late with my episode 5 review. I wanted episode 5 and episode 6 to battle each other for REVENGE or whatever it is that would make me look less lazy.
The girls begin this episode dealing with the grandparent fallout from last episode. They’re home and bored on a Friday night, while Judgy WASP Mom and Spacey Grandpa are “partying.” The girls act like they’re missing something but you know if Lorelai had been invited she’d be making snide remarks about how she doesn’t want to spend her Friday night talking to Muffy and Sterling about their annuity.
The Elder Gilmores’ party is just a bunch of rich people singing songs around the piano like its Downton Abbey and there is no electricity or TV yet so people had to talk to each other for entertainment. Or like that episode of Archer where everyone pretended to be the wealthy attendees of Mallory’s dinner party so she wouldn’t get busted for killing a dude in a really kinky sex game.
There are probably fewer butt plugs involved at Richard & Emily’s party.
It’s Friday Night Dinner at Judgy WASP Mom’s house and she’s making it very clear that she hates her mother-in-law, who has had quite the run as one of Satan’s wives. She then changes the subject to Rory’s new boyfriend. She wants to meet him. She wants Rory to bring Broody, the guy who couldn’t fathom participating in a town event, the guy who doesn’t think he needs to try now that he and Rory are together, to her house for dinner.
I can’t wait for her to eat him alive.